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 Author | Topic: Funny (Read 179 times) |
Martin Young
At the Thermometer
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|  | Funny
« Thread Started on Jul 29, 2009, 6:52pm » | |
Old but still funny 
Qantas Airlines: Repair Division
In case you need a laugh:
Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high
school diploma to fix one.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe
Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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The Young's PB's
Martin Young
17.5T = 19/309 (Cyclone WCE)
13.5T = 20/310.32 (Cyclone WCE)
10.5T = 19/311.XX Used it but how can something so fast be so slow!! Hmmmm 
Robert Young
27T = 16/318 (Tamiya TA05) I told him he needed to run those tyres.
Lucas Young
17.5T = 17/303.XX (Cyclone WCE) |
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matt sedgley
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| | Re: Funny
« Reply #1 on Jul 29, 2009, 9:24pm » | |
love it!
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10.5 - 20/315.63
13.5 - 20/307.24
17.5 - 19/308.36
Reality Racing | Team Schumacher UK | Nosram| Savox |Futaba |
“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” |
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keitheroonie
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Chairman SHMCC Committee
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| | Re: Funny
« Reply #2 on Jul 30, 2009, 6:55am » | |
that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time Martin.
Cheers
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Keith Davies
18/303 27T brushed
19/310 13.5 brushless
18/303 17.5 brushless |
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MrsH
In the Chicane
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Posts: 14
| | Re: Funny
« Reply #3 on Aug 12, 2009, 12:45pm » | |
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lesbaldry
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Posts: 135
| | Re: Funny
« Reply #4 on Nov 6, 2009, 1:27pm » | |
Ok this is bound to get out so you may as well hear it from the horses mouth and have a laugh at my expense 
I have just recently received a team E mail from Much more racing,in this was included a team drivers listing showing all new recruits,On this list was Mark Townsend,I was shocked to see such a dyed in the wool Tamiya man change his drive??..so I immediately text him to congratulate his wise choice of car for the coming season  .....But and big BUT,you've guessed it ,it wasn't our Mark T....also this other Mark T is black  whoooops!!
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Top Photon team....Sponsers, Reality Racing/Muchmore racing ..(Photon makes a good club driver better) |
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Reuben
Lapping the Back Markers
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| | Re: Funny
« Reply #5 on Nov 6, 2009, 6:48pm » | |
ohh Les, easy mistake i guess.
At least he didn't string you along and then suddenly turn up with that blue thing 
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Reuben Manning
PB:
Mi4: 17.5 = 20/314.03 : 13.5 = 20/310 : 10.5 = 20/310
Team EA Motors UK - www.eamotors.co.uk
Schumacher Team
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lesbaldry
At the Thermometer
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Posts: 135
| | Re: Funny
« Reply #6 on Nov 7, 2009, 7:54am » | |
Ps to the Mark T identity fault
I spoke to the "other" darker Mark Townsend last night at Newbury and told him my embarrassing story...He laughed like a drain and replied "its not hard to tell us apart" ...A smashing guy with a great sence of humor
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Top Photon team....Sponsers, Reality Racing/Muchmore racing ..(Photon makes a good club driver better) |
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