Twas the night before Christmas. Just for a laugh.

[oldtimeracer]

Ok so I guess you all know the the classic "Twas The Night Before Christmas" poem.

Well just for a laugh

(if anyone needs me to explain "laugh" then PM me)

I have started the poem for you related to our racing. All you have to do is add the next bit. See how far we can get.

Ok so yes this is stupid, childish, etc etc but al least you dont need to fill out a Risk Assessment to do it.

Take this as a challenge!

[oldtimeracer]

Twas the night before Christmas, all over the track
The racers were gathered, not prepared to look back;
Their cars all lined up on the start grid with care,
awaiting the buzzer, then off they will tear;

The rostrum was crowded, the tension was great
The racers were ready, not long now to wait
The points were all equal, they all had to score
Last race of the series and all to play for

The marshalls were waiting at various places
Knowing that crashing could end someones races
They crouched down and waited, all senses awake
Just waiting for someone to make that mistake

The countdown begins, not long to the start
When all of a sudden, you hear someone fart
The laughter begins, someone jumps the gun
As another rendition escapes someones bum

[keitheroonie]

and off they all run,
like bullets shot from a gun,
First corner they reach all at the same time
but which one of them has the best line,
It seems none of them cares,
They're all blissfully unawares.
As cars fly about
the name marshal is shout.
Then the heart starts to slow
and again off they go,
To try to catch up
with the cars that they struck.

[oldtimeracer]

Up to the hairpin they go with a dash
everyone trying so hard not to crash
the car in lead goes off on the grass
the marshall leaps forward
and lands on his ass

[saintroeer]

so its off to the trye, can we all hit top speed
the presures so great, prior to the race wish we'ed pee'ed
the first turns too early, the second goes to wide
the third guy thinks hes cleaver, front SOLID axle, well that manufactorer lied

[lesbaldry]

full speed down the sweeper to dingly dell

all side by side and swearing like hell

now we're heading for the loop back to the start

off went the peep or did someone fart

[saintroeer]

well into the race, back markers to pass
get out the way you say, im running first and your running last
they dont take this well, get deliberately in the way
you decide a good punt up the ass, is the order of the day

[Simon Crabb]

Nov 19, 2008 19:25:44 GMT saintroeer said:

well into the race, back markers to pass
get out the way you say, im running first and your running last
they dont take this well, get deliberately in the way
you decide a good punt up the ass, is the order of the day

You're writing from experience there Adam! ;D

[oldtimeracer]

Good grief is that Simon? we dont often see
Can never get up in the morning you see
And now what is this, it seems Simon is last
quite rightly his moment of glory is past

[oldtimeracer]

And now Adams whinging
Weve heard him before
Theres bits of his car
all over the floor

He just was not ready
his batteries not full
Not that his leg
we ever would pull

Keith’s still at the Barbie
The bacon’s a burning
He watches the racing with longing and yearning

Matt is up there somewhere
Though no one is sure
He’s been on a diet and
Cant be seen anymore

Robin is leading
The Tamiya flying
He said blue is best
But Les said he was lying

[keitheroonie]

;D

[mattsedgley]

we should put this on the cabin!

[oldtimeracer]

But Dan had gone brushless
And boy was he fast
Soon he would be up there
And no longer last

This surely was seen
As the race of his life
As he sliced his way neatly
Through the field like a knife

He was soon up to second
And looking to pass
When a wheel nut came loose and
Threw him on the grass

Now Twinkle was flying
Right on Robin’s tail
He wanted the win
And was not going to fail

As they came to the bombhole
He went for the pass
But Rob shut the door
And pushed him on the grass

[saintroeer]

the four minute warning, is music to your ears
but on this important occasion, it brings you to tears
your race has been perfect, no mistakes have you made
but that not so fat wedge, filled gennys oil spout in spades

the gennys stopped working, the race has to end
being in first place, this drives you round the bend
too much oil in the filter, the genny did choke
we cant get too violent, hes now such a skiiny bloke

we deside the series is over, all prizes have been won
it doesnt matter you were first, the table says youve been done
sometimes its a shame, that we all can not win
but were all in good spirits, with no small amount of gin

BBQ's are dangerous but warm, so we all huddle round
sing a small xmas carole, what a terrible sound
discusions of presents, new driving toys
and then a final xmas goodbye, from the SHMCC boys

[Martin S]

He's only joking, it wouldn't end that way
'Let's count by hand', is the order of the day
With one minute more, we plough to the end
But this rhyme we can't finish, so the series extends.

[lesbaldry]

Pick up your cars lads, its back to the start
lets pray this time that no one duth fart!
Tranys all poised with a quivering of thumb
Oh no,not again,it's that noise from the bum

A peer down the rostrum to see a head bowed low
Guess who boys?.." twoz Lloydie " he has just got to go!
Ok chaps stop laughing,we'll break for some tea
One more like that Ian and you'll loose FTD!!

Back to the race with a quick change of cog
Any one seen Ian?..yes!.. hes still in the bog!
good!!..line up boys he wont make the start
this time we're off!!....but minus the fart

[oldtimeracer]

On down the straight at a hell of a lick
someones coming up fast, you can see they are quick

there are right on your tail and looking to pass
but do you give way, not bloomin likely as they are only running a 17.5 and you are using a 13.5 so they should not be quicker than you anyway and they are in a different class so it does not matter anyway....

sorry got carried away there.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[lesbaldry]

Nov 21, 2008 8:53:27 GMT @oldtimeracer said:

On down the straight at a hell of a lick
someones coming up fast, you can see they are quick

there are right on your tail and looking to pass
but do you give way, not bloomin likely as they are only running a 17.5 and you are using a 13.5 so they should not be quicker than you anyway and they are in a different class so it does not matter anyway....

sorry got carried away there.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

That was subtle ..very subtle ...not as good as the other though

[oldtimeracer]

;D ;D ;D ;D

[keitheroonie]

And off down the straight
for heat number two
that smell can't be Lloydie
He went to the loo

It must be those horses
or the cows that go moo!
oh no it's not
Les put on your shoes

their minds now distracted
and not on their race
their cars start to fly
all over the place

first place hits second
and third flies right through
then fifth place hits forth
there was nothing he could do

with cars on the grass
and marshals running all about
a call from the rostrum
well more of a shout

Marshal was called loudly
and Matts ears pricked up
Don't shout he said
it was you that f@"!£$ up

so it had all chilled right down
and concentration was back
as they must try and catch up
but stay on the track

now it's two minutes in
and their brains start to wander
then Pete's tough conundrum
enters their heads and they ponder

do I need to catch that car
or the one on the grass
which one of them
is racing my class

now I'm not sure
well what does it matter
then off at the next corner
with a bang and a clatter